The Weather In Maine

It was 36 degrees F today. I didn't ever put on a coat, as it's positively spring like....considering how I felt at 36, I thought I'd share the true Maine Guide to RealFeel temperature (it's not original):

60 above zero:
Arizonans turn on the heat.
People in Maine plant gardens.

50 above zero:
Southern Californians shiver uncontrollably.
People in Maine sunbathe.

40 above zero:
Some foreign-made cars won't start.
People in Maine drive with their windows down (or tops down).

32 above zero:
Distilled water freezes.
The water in Maine merely gets thicker.

20 above zero:
Floridians don coats, thermal underwear, gloves, wool hats.
People in Maine throw on a flannel shirt.

10 above zero:
New York landlords finally turn on the heat.
People in Maine have their last cookout before it gets cold.

Zero:
People in Miami start dying.
People in Maine close the windows.

10 below zero:
Californians fly south to Mexico.
People in Maine start looking for their winter coats.

20 below zero:
Hollywood disintegrates.
Girl Scouts in Maine sell cookies door to door.

40 below zero:
Washington, D.C., runs out of hot air.
People in Maine let their dogs sleep indoors.

120 below zero:
Santa Claus abandons the North Pole.
People in Maine get upset because they can't start their minivans.

459 below zero:
ALL atomic motion stops (Absolute Zero).
People in Maine note, "It's getting wicked cold outside."

500 below zero:
Hell freezes over.
Maine public schools will open 2 hours late.