Wednesday, February 21, 2007

The Weather In Maine

It was 36 degrees F today. I didn't ever put on a coat, as it's positively spring like....considering how I felt at 36, I thought I'd share the true Maine Guide to RealFeel temperature (it's not original):

60 above zero:
Arizonans turn on the heat.
People in Maine plant gardens.

50 above zero:
Southern Californians shiver uncontrollably.
People in Maine sunbathe.

40 above zero:
Some foreign-made cars won't start.
People in Maine drive with their windows down (or tops down).

32 above zero:
Distilled water freezes.
The water in Maine merely gets thicker.

20 above zero:
Floridians don coats, thermal underwear, gloves, wool hats.
People in Maine throw on a flannel shirt.

10 above zero:
New York landlords finally turn on the heat.
People in Maine have their last cookout before it gets cold.

People in Miami start dying.
People in Maine close the windows.

10 below zero:
Californians fly south to Mexico.
People in Maine start looking for their winter coats.

20 below zero:
Hollywood disintegrates.
Girl Scouts in Maine sell cookies door to door.

40 below zero:
Washington, D.C., runs out of hot air.
People in Maine let their dogs sleep indoors.

120 below zero:
Santa Claus abandons the North Pole.
People in Maine get upset because they can't start their minivans.

459 below zero:
ALL atomic motion stops (Absolute Zero).
People in Maine note, "It's getting wicked cold outside."

500 below zero:
Hell freezes over.
Maine public schools will open 2 hours late.

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