Honey, I'm going Out For A Cup of Coffee

This story leaves so many unanswered questions and is wrong on so many levels:

Claude Van Tassel doesn't want to come home.

It was nearly five years ago that the well-known auctioneer from Lyman, Maine, and father of 12 went missing while shopping at the Dover Ames store with his wife. Van Tassel told her he was going to get a cup of coffee — and was never heard from again.

"He has asked that his location not be given out because he does not want to be found," said Interim Police Chief Anthony Colarusso. "In essence we have a person who has been missing of his own volition since 2002, but he is healthy, he is alive and well in Pennsylvania. At this stage the case is closed, the family's been notified."

Seems he's done this once before, as well:

"We then began to dig into the history of Mr. Van Tassel and learned that he did a similar thing and was missing in another part of the country a year previously," Colarusso said.

Van Tassel told his wife he was going for coffee before that disappearance as well. His abandoned truck was found weeks later in Ohio, and Van Tassel was found 72 days later at a homeless shelter in Iowa.

His wife isn't buying the story, but since Mr. Van Tassel doesn't want to be found, the authorities won't tell her where he is. Wouldn't that drive you crazy? All those unanswered questions, like don't you miss your 17 grandchildren? Why not just ask for a divorce? My curiosity would be killin' me....