Church Sign Wisdom (or not so much)

Not that I really believe that, but don't Church Ladies with Typewriters and church signs often make you wonder if finding Jesus makes you lose your brain (or at least every basic principle of grammer and spelling lerned in school)?

You're not alone. Joel Bezaire has a blog devoted to the analysis of church signs. There's a new book devoted to church signs (the funny, the mind boggling, and the inspirational), and there's the church sign generator where you can make your own Church Sign, or view funny church signs. The Jokeyard has more church sign humor.

Good Morning

Gone Skiing

See you in a few days.....

Good Morning (again)

Cape Neddick, ME

Mainely Celebrity Sighting

Survivor host Jeff Probst and his girlfriend (and Gorham native) Julie Berry served Christmas dinner at the Wayside Soup Kitchen in Portland.

They were later seen shopping at the Target Store in South Portland where they posed for pictures and mingled with the Mainahs.

Sadly, we've seen no reports of Patrick Duffy visiting his Native Pine Tree State this holiday season.

Good Morning

Imagine a lovely Maine scene here....







There would be a lovely Maine scene here, excepting that Blogger isn't accepting my upload for the past two mornings. We'll try again later.

Church Ladies with Typewriters

As a kid, the ONLY thing that made church bearable was proofreading the church bulletin....there was at least one gem a week, and even if all I found was a typo it was enough for my snotty teenage self to drive my mother bonkers (these days not even a church lady with a typewriter is enough to get me thru those church doors, but that will be a story for another day).

For now, here are some of the best from this year's church bulletins:
The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals.

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The sermon this morning: "Jesus Walks on the Water."
The sermon tonight: "Searching for Jesus."

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Our youth basketball team is back in action Wednesday at 8 PM in the
recreation hall. Come out and watch us kill Christ the King.

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Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those
things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.

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The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has been canceled due to a
conflict.

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Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community. Smile at
someone
who is hard to love. Say "Hell" to someone who doesn't care much about
you.

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Don't let worry kill you off - let the Church help.

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Miss Charlene Mason sang "I will not pass this way again," giving obvious
pleasure to the congregation.

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For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery
downstairs.

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Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir.
They need all the help they can get.

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The Rector will preach his farewell message after which the choir will
sing:
"Break Forth Into Joy."

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Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church.
So
ends a friendship that began in their school days.

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A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music
will
follow.

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At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be "What Is Hell?"
Come
early and listen to our choir practice.

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Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several
new
members and to the deterioration of some older ones.

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Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled.
Proceeds will be used to cripple children.

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Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person
you
want remembered.

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The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment and
gracious hostility.
-------------------------------------------------
Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM - prayer and medication to follow.

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The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be
seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.

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This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park across from
the
Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.

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Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10 AM. All ladies are
invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B. S. is done.

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The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation would
lend
him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday.
--------------------------------------------
Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM. Please use the
back
door.

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The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the Church
basement Friday at 7 PM. The congregation is invited to attend this
tragedy.

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Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church. Please
use large double door at the side entrance.

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The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new tithing campaign slogan
last
Sunday: "I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours"

Old Farmhouse Chutney Cheeseball

Jim Stott, co-founder of Stonewall Kitchens, appeared on 207, last week with easy to make recipes for holiday gatherings. They all looked delicious and most of them were 10 minutes of no-fuss preparation.

I just happened to have a jar of the wonderful Farmhouse Chutney leftover from last week's dinner party and the cheeseball looked so wonderful (and more importantly, so easy) that I just had to make it. If you can't find Stonewall Kitchen's Old Farmhouse Chutney, any chutney will work as a substitute.

We served it with the spicy nuts and Roquefort Pinwheels for our Christmas Eve appetizer.

Old Farmhouse Chutney Cheese Ball

Ingredients:
16 oz. cream cheese, softened
1/2 cup STONEWALL KITCHEN Old Farmhouse Chutney
1/4 cup scallion, diced
1 clove garlic, minced
Salt and pepper, to taste
1/2 cup Colby cheese, shredded
1/2 cup Monterey Jack cheese, shredded
1/2 cup pecans, chopped

Directions:
1. Mix together cream cheese, Old Farmhouse Chutney, onion, garlic, salt and pepper (I used my hands--well washed, of course).
2. Fold in Colby and Monterey jack cheeses.
3. Form the mixture into a ball and roll in chopped pecans.

Good Morning

York Village, ME December 26, 2006. Sigh.

Good Christmas

The Nubble, Cape Neddick, ME

Just Don't Call Him Sir

Her Majesty, Queen Elizabeth has awarded Paul Hewitt an honorary knighthood. You can still just call him Bono.
(He will not be awarded with the title of "Sir" because he is not a British national--he's Irish).

Bono was recognized for his service to the music industry and his humanitarian work. Tony Blair congratulated and thanked him:

"I want personally to thank you for the invaluable role you played in the run-up to the Gleneagles G8 summit. Without your personal contribution, we could not have achieved the results we did.

"So thank you and I look forward to continuing to work together to maintain momentum on Africa, and ensure leaders around the world meet the promises they have made."

Bono's the guy who really knows What Jesus Would Do--he's not wasting time trying to discriminate. He's not getting caught up legislating morality. He's bringing aid and comfort to the poorest and most destitute on our earth and he refuses to allow the Christianists to paint him into a box.

I have this hunger in me--everywhere I look, I see evidence of a Creator. But I don't see it in religion, which has cut my people in two. I don't see Jesus Christ as being part of a religion. Religion to me is almost like when God leaves and people devise a set of rules to fill the space.
--Bono

He's not only a knight, he's my idea of a Saint

More Wishful Thinking on a December Morn

Good Morning

Monhegan, ME

Phrases That Set My Teeth on Edge

"meet up"--why is the up necessary? It's the grammatical equivalent of "where are you at?" yet people I know who would never end a sentence with an "at" have no problem saying "Let's meet up later"

"snack on" as in "I keep a loaf of Cinnamon bread in my car to snack on"--keeping food in your car for an extended period of time is nasty to begin with, but when you add a "snack on" to that sentence, I hear fingernails on the chalkboard

"!!!!!"-A single exclamation point should be used infrequently and with much consideration. Multiple exclamation points should never be use, unless alerting the reader to a chance of imminent death by poison dart or nuclear bomb!!!!!

Funnily enough, the use of wicked as in "that's a wicked bad curve" doesn't bother me in the least.

Do you have any phrases that bug you?

Wishful Thinking This Morning

York, ME (Please, please let there be snow for Christmas)

Macaroni and Cheese with Lobster

Still testing recipes for New Year's Eve....we'll have a houseful of Ohioans, young and old, so I'm looking for foods that kids will eat and adults will find sophisticated enough for a gala celebration (a celebration that will include UNO and Scrabble--how's that for a gala?). This recipe combines an Ohio favorite (that's anything with cheese) with a Maine delicacy.
Yum.





8 oz elbow macaroni
16 oz heavy cream or whole milk
8 oz shredded sharp cheddar cheese
4 oz cream cheese
6 oz fresh Parmesan cheese, grated
4 oz Gruyere cheese, shredded

1 lb lobster meat, chopped
1/2 cup breadcrumbs
2 garlic cloves, minced
2 shallots, minced
1 Tbsp olive oil
salt and pepper to taste

Bring salted water to a boil and add macaroni. Cook 8 to 10 minutes (do not overcook). In a double boiler, combine cheddar cheese, 4 oz Parmesan cheese, cream cheese, and Gruyere cheeses and heat until blended.

Gradually add cream or milk, stirring until smooth.

In large pan, heat olive oil and add shallots and garlic. Sauté. Add lobster meat and cook until opaque. Remove from heat.

Good Morning

Cape Neddick, ME

Then Again....

...maybe a Wii is a bad idea.

Wii, Wii, Wii All the Way to My Home

Am I the only middle-aged woman in America who covets a Wii--not for her children but for herself? Most likely.

I don't covet it enough to stand in line for 16 hours, or to pay $789.00 for it on eBay or Amazon....but I do covet it enough to make a daily internets drive by on Amazon and eBay to see if there's a deal.

And now might have a chance to pay the suggested retail price of $249.00 for one on Amazon. Actually, I have a 28 to 1 chance to buy a Wii through the Customer's Vote: Special Edition Page
How do these odds stack up?

• I have a better chance of getting my letter to the New York Times published (20 to 1)--provided that I ever write one. Right now, my chances are zero.
• I have a better chance of getting hemorrhoids (25 to 1).
• But my odds are better on the Wii than having my novel be a NYTimes bestseller (220 to 1).
• I also have a better chance of getting the Wii than getting botulism (2,300 to 1). Comforting.

Entertainment for A Winter's Eve

With the sunset at 4:05 pm, we always are looking for ways to pass the time. This should be good for two nights of watching and then week of trying to recreate it. With recuperation time from injuries, this could stretch into a month of fun.